Welcome to my roundtable interview with the main cast of the Josh of the Damned series. Would everyone like to introduce themselves?
Josh: I’m Josh Caplan, night clerk at the Quik-Mart.
Doug: I’m Doug Ogawa, delivery guy from the Pizza Shack, Josh’s roommate, and world class stoner.
Josh: Is that something to be proud of?
Doug: It’s better than being a pizza delivery guy.
Josh: Fair enough.
Colin: I’m Colin, Josh’s boyfriend.
Josh: And ..?
Doug: Yeah dude, you’re leaving off the most interesting part.
Colin: Fine, I’m a vampire. Happy?
Doug: All I wanted.
Mr. Kwon: I’m Mr. Kwon, owner of the Quik-Mart, and I have no idea why I agreed to take part in this. Why am I here?
Colin: You do have a first name.
Mr. Kwon: Yeah, but I ain’t sharin’ it.
Doug: You’re leaving out the most interesting part about you too.
Mr. Kwon : What, that I’m a shitty necromancer from a family of good necromancers? That’s a tragedy, not a point of interest.
Interviewer: So, what’s so special about this Quik-Mart? Besides being owned by a necromancer.
Doug: it’s right next to a hellmouth.
Josh: No, that’s fictional. It’s right next to a portal to another world, a world called Dev.
Doug: A world fulla monsters. No offense, Colin.
Colin: None taken. I am a monster.
Josh: Hey, that’s not true. You’re a cuddly monster.
Colin: Thanks. I think.
Doug: Please ask what our turn ons are.
Mr. Kwon: For God’s sake, why?
Doug: ‘Cause it’d be funny.
Interviewer: All right. What are your turn ons?
Doug: Cartoons, big tippers, fancy ass Cheetos, and at least a C cup.
Josh: Sexy vampires, green eyes, toned butts.
Colin: Guys who manage to look good in polyester work shirts.
Mr. Kwon: You think I’m playin’ this stupid game? Move on.
Interviewer: So Josh, have you been to Dev? What’s it like?
Josh: It’s super weird. The sky’s a different color, and the buildings are really freaky looking. And there’s, like, cars and horses on the road at the same time, and these weird carriage things, and it looks like a whole bunch of different eras exploded. Sorta like a steampunk convention sharing a hall with a Star Trek convention.
Doug: I’d watch that.
Colin: You get used to it fast, and then this place seems strange.
Interviewer: Didn’t you used to be human?
Colin: Yes, once, but I don’t remember any of it.
Mr. Kwon: It probably has to do with the transition from one dimension to another. Humans aren’t really built to take it.
Interviewer: But monsters are?
Mr. Kwon: More than us.
Interviewer: When you opened the Qwik-Mart, did you know there was a hell – Dev – portal beside it?
Mr. Kwon: No, because there wasn’t then. It opened up about a year ago. I think one of my goddamn Uncles was screwing around with a spell he shouldn’t have. And it’s not like we can fix it, since we don’t know what he did in the first place. It figures somehow. My family has a talent for screwing things up.
Interviewer: And you didn’t close the store down?
Mr. Kwon: You’d be surprised how little the Quik-Mart corporation gives a shit about otherworldly portals.
Josh: Yeah … the head guys are real assholes.
Interviewer: So are there any closing statements you’d like to make, about why people should pick up your books?
Mr. Kwon: Books?
Doug: We’re all as sexy as hell.
Josh: Funny how you include yourself.
Doug: I’m a straight guy. I don’t hafta try that hard.
Colin: Truly inspiring.
Mr. Kwon: There are books about us? Why was I not informed, and where’s my cut? They’re not using my real name, are they?
Interviewer: I think now’s a good time to sign off.
Mr. Kwon: I didn’t sign a contract. I’ll sue your asses –
Leave a comment to win a copy of Josh of the Damned Triple Feature #2: The Final Checkout!
Contest ends 4/28/2013 at 11:59 p.m. EST
Josh Caplan thought he’d solved his home office problem and stopped the Quik-Mart Corporation from expanding into hell, but it turns out a guardian’s work is never done. Medusa has plans for him, and she’s not the only one.
What’s a poor night clerk to do when he’s besieged on all sides by deluded vampire slayers, angry zombies, crazy gods, and the most terrifying enemy of all: a dickish CEO?
To survive this, Josh will have to do more than just rely on his necromancer boss, his hot vampire boyfriend, and his yeti stalker. This time, he’ll have to find his own inner hero to save the day.
Andrea Speed writes way too much. She is the writer of the Infected series for Dreamspinner Press, the Josh of the Damned series for Riptide Publishing, and is Editor In Chief of CxPulp.com, where she reviews comics as well as movies and other stuff. She won a Rainbow Award for best horror/paranormal novel in 2012, and feels she may be ubiqutous on the web. But she is not (sadly) the Italian DJ of the same name that often comes up first in Google searches. Look for her on Twitter as @aspeed if you’re brave.